Pseudo-variety (cough, cough)
With winter weather coming on, you may develop a cough. So you might run out to the local Walgreen or CVS to pick up a remedy, or at least a palliative. The folks at drug giant Wyeth have just made your life more complicated. Instead of a few varieties of its Robitussin brand syrup and cough drops to choose from, the company has come up with 34 choices of products that may give you some relief.
The matrix of choices is bewildering and probably, with the exception of a pediatric/adult distinction, meaningless. Wyeth is pushing its new campaign with the slogan "There's a Robitussin with your name on it." The idea is that you self-diagnose while standing in front of the display so you can pick out the "best" solution.
It's all pseudo-variety. No doubt there's a small difference in formulas, but how many people have ever worried before about with regular of Robitussin or its competitors wasn't tailored to their illness. Next we can expect that the sugar-free line gives us a choice between aspartame and saccharine; that cranberry, kiwi, and mango flavors get added; and that special varieties be developed to handle different colorations of expectorated phlegm.
The point, as with beer and toothpaste, is to elbow other rivals off the shelf. You are prompted to spend your time choosing between "Robitussin Chest Congestion Guaifenesin Syrup, USP" and "Robitussin Cough & Allergy" rather than between Robitussin and competitors like Vicks (Procter & Gamble, with its Nyquil and Dayquil brands), PediaCare (from Pfizer), or Theraflu (from Novartis).
Here's the complete list for a laugh:
Robitussin Cough DM
Robitussin Cough Long-Acting
Robitussin Sugar-Free DM
Robitussin Honey Couch Syrup
Robitussin Infant Cough DM
Robitussin Pediatric Cough
Robitussin Cough & Cold GF
Robitussin Cough & Cold Long-Acting
Robitussin Cough & Cold Nighttime
Robitussin Pediatric Cough & Cold Long-Acting
Robitussin Pediatric Cough & Cold Nighttime
Robitussin Chest Congestion Guaifenesin Syrup, USP
Robitussin Head & Chest Congestion PE
Robitussin Cough & Congestion
Robitussin Cough, Cold & Flu Nighttime
Robitussin Night Relief
Robitussin Cough & Allergy
Robitussin Sunny Orange Vitamin C Supplement Drops
Robitussin Sunny Raspberry Vitamin C Supplement Drops
Robitussin Cough & Cold Liquid Filled Tablets
Robitussin Severe Congestion Liquid Filled Tablets
Robitussin Cough, Cold & Flu Liquid Filled Tablets
Robitussin Cough & Cold Pediatric Drops
Robitussin Herbal Berry Cough Drops
Robitussin Herbal Almond Cough Drops
Robitussin Honey Lemon Tea Cough Drops
Robitussin Herbal with Natural Honey Center Cough Drops
Robitussin Honey Lemon Cough Drops
Robitussin Cherry Cough Drops
Robitussin Honey Citrus Cough Drops
Robitussin Menthol Cough Drops
Robitussin Sugar Free Tropical Fruit Cough and Sore Throat Drops
Robitussin Sugar Free Citrus Cough and Sore Throat Drops
